Loose Women star Sherrie Hewson has told how a secret breast cancer scare tormented her throughout her stint in Celebrity Big Brother.
The 65-year-old actress revealed how she found a worrying lump before entering the house but was so terrified it would turn out to be deadly, she could not bring herself to have the tests she urgently needed.
The TV veteran also confessed that she put the fee for her Big Brother appearance ahead of her health by going ahead with the show – believing she would have needed the money if she did get sick.
She now deeply regrets her stupidity for not seeking urgent medical attention and issued a heartfelt plea urging other women not to follow in her footsteps.
“It has been a terrifying time and although nobody knew, I never stopped thinking about my scare in the house, even though I was too scared to talk about it,” she confessed.
“I figured that if I did have cancer, I wouldn’t be able to work and look after my family, so I took the risk.”
She went on: “I did something very stupid and dangerous and I want to say ‘please, don’t follow me. Go to the doctor without hesitation. Let somebody examine you’.
“It’s so frightening and I was terrified but you can’t put your head in the sand. Learn a lesson from me and tell somebody.”
For four weeks while she appeared on screen to millions of viewers, Sherrie was harbouring her harrowing secret.
It was even more worrying as it came just months after the star almost died on the operating table following an allergic reaction to the general anaesthetic before a face-lift.
Only now that she has had the all-clear does she admit she spent her time on CBB “petrified” about the possibility she had a disease that would kill her.
She told how she was so stressed her hair began to fall out and her behaviour became erratic.
“The fear was kicking in but I kept quiet because I thought I would be voted out in the first week.
"The longer I stayed in the house, the more I tried to bury what was happening,” she said.
“I remember one day I had a shower and tried to convince myself that what I was feeling was nothing.
“But then I had a meltdown, I went into the diary room and broke down. I thought this is crazy, I’m pretending everything’s fine and I’ve got to get out of here and find out if this lump is going to kill me.
"With all the stress I was feeling, my hair began to fall out. I was in there for four weeks in the end.”
During CBB viewers saw her sobbing in the Diary Room while wearing her pyjamas, admitting that she was feeling lost.
Looking into the lens, she said: “I promised myself I wouldn’t do this – cry on live television. I always think it makes people look weak... I’m not weak.”
She was also filmed sitting alone in the kitchen, muttering to herself: “What have I done? This was a mistake.
“This was such a stupid mistake. I’m not strong enough for this.”
Sherrie went on: “I can’t tell you how relieved I feel to have had the all-clear but it has been a lesson learned and I will never leave it that long again.”
She found a small lump on her right breast back in August, just days before she was due to go in the CBB house.
She said: “I thought, ‘maybe it is breast cancer’ but I tried desperately to push that thought out of my head and had a gin and tonic and told myself it wasn’t. Fear was kicking in.
“I don’t share anything with anybody, I never turn to anybody for help or sympathy. I don’t want to be a burden. If I’m upset I go into a room, I cry and I get over it.”
The terrified actress spoke to a doctor but delayed having a biopsy until she finished the programme.
Sherrie tried to convince herself she would be booted out of the house within a week – but Channel 5 viewers liked her and she lasted for 29 days.
She recalled: “I had told the doctor I’d be back the next week for a needle biopsy. When I went in there, I told myself it was OK because I would be booted out.
“I kept my dignity in the house, but I was quieter than I would have been because of what was going on and the fact I was thinking about it all the time.”
As Sherrie coped with the craziness of the show she became increasingly anxious.
“When I came out, I just cried. Emma Willis kept asking me why I was so emotional, she said you’ve come out of the mad house. But she didn’t know the real reason,” she said.
Her exit coincided with news bestselling author Jackie Collins had died from breast cancer. But that finally gave her the push to face her fears.
“I’ve met Jackie several times and absolutely adored her. She was an inspirational woman who I looked up to,” Sherrie said. “When I heard about Jackie, I went to the doctor’s the next day.”
She had a biopsy then had to wait four days for her results.
“I felt helpless and hopeless,” she admitted. “I didn’t tell anybody, I was just wandering around on my own.
“Then I got a phone call and was given the all-clear. I justified my stupidity by saying to myself, I knew I was fine.
"All the worry was for nothing. But that might not have been the case.
“The relief I felt was immense.”
It was Sherrie’s second breast cancer scare, after she found a lump two years ago.
“You’d think I would have learned my lesson but in my opinion the older you get the more scared you become.”
It was while Sherrie was filming a special breast cancer survivors episode of Loose Women last Friday that she finally felt able to reveal her ordeal.
Choking back tears, Sherrie – with her hair dyed pink – told the panellists: “I had a lump a few years ago, but… only a few weeks ago, which I’ve never told anybody, I found another one.”
Explaining her decision to reveal the scare: “I really never planned to say it. I was just so moved by what was going on that the raw emotion poured out.
"It was a very emotional show, the room was full of very inspirational women and I was gobsmacked by their courage. It made me realise how stupid I had been.
“I felt pathetic when I told the nation I didn’t do anything about my lump, because it’s ridiculous for a grown woman to ignore things.
“But the reaction from the audience was amazing, they were all there for me.
"One of the ladies told me she had found a lump like mine, she went straight to the doctor and it saved her life.”
Messages poured in from viewers. “I heard from women who said they were exactly like me and didn’t want to face anything,” she said.
"I don’t know if it’s my age, my generation, but I don’t face up to things very well. My mother was like that, she never allowed illness and I think I’ve got that from her.
“When my father got prostate cancer, I just cried and the doctor told me I wasn’t helping. I’ve regretted it ever since.”
Sherrie insists she has had a wake-up call and is putting her health first from now on. “I am going to be more vigilant. This has made me realise you never know when your time is up.
“I have been scared for too long about too many things and now I just need to get on with my life. Who knows, I might find somebody to fall in love with again.”
The divorced actress, who has a daughter Keeley and two grandchildren, added: “I have lived on my own since 2001 and I’d love to fall in love for the last time before I die.
“That’s my hope now. I’m actually starting to believe I can even get married again. I want to spend the rest of my life with somebody.
“Most of all, I never want to go through something like this on my own again.”